Perspective-Gained the Hard Way
10/20/2012 06:16:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
Wednesday morning was the worst I can recall in history,
since waking up at 14 years old to find that my father had passed away during
the night. Sounds dramatic right?! It was…….for a while, but thankfully, I’ve
gained a new perspective-a reality check of sorts.
Before I’d even had time to fix breakfast, K comes
rushing up to me with a handful of hair, eyes wide with fear and tears, and
voice shaky and on the verge of a major melt down. “M’s cut her hair off!” she
wailed, “Come see!”
I sprang up and followed her into the playroom where I
was utterly stunned by what filled my eyes. There were piles upon piles of hair………..this
was one of several.
My knees went weak and I think I may have blacked out,
because I don’t recall exactly what I said or did immediately.
By the time I had at least some of my wits about me, I
gathered a Ziplock baggie full of hair and realized that all 3 of us were
crying-hysterically. (Among many other irrational fears and aversions of mine,
bad haircuts rank REALLY close to number one-I blame it on scarring as a child!)
When I found the guilty party, she was hiding and bawling
her little eyes out. I don’t think I was much help as I nearly hyperventilated over
the sight of her self-inflicted mullet :o(
I called DH, but he couldn’t understand what was going on
between the sobs, so MIL was promptly called and came to the rescue.
She kept K, while I rushed M to the beauty shop!
As my friend tried the best she could to salvage what
hair was left, M sat, much calmer than before, but with her lip poked WAY out
in disgust. When questioned about her frustrations, she said, “Well, my hair
didn’t even turn pink! Or at LEAST blonde!”
I was puzzled, but too curious not to push further. I
tried explaining, “Well honey, our hair doesn’t change color just because we
cut it.”
“But Rapunzel’s does!” was her very serious reply.
*head slap* On the ride home we had a long discussion
about real and fantasy (which I honestly thought we had down by now), and with
a broken hearted mama and sissy, the world turned on.
M was quite proud of herself, while K and I were
pitifully stunned and not pleased. (Not one of my proudest parenting moments to
say the least.)
2 other major family dramas occurred over Wednesday and Thursday,
so by the time it was Friday, I could hardly wait to get out the door to attend
the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure!
Friday morning my “team mates” bailed on me. (Losers!
LOL, I kid) That was pretty much the straw that broke this camel’s back.
DH and MIL insisted I go anyway, just to unwind and try
to put myself back together. It was a heavenly appointment, of that I’m now
sure!
I cried most of the 2 ½ hour drive, over just everything
that was seemingly going wrong. Sometimes, a long cry is just soul cleansing
for me. *shrugs* I don’t cry often, so when I DO, I usually go overboard!
After my night alone in a posh hotel, complete with room
service, and a way too long steamy hot shower, I finally felt some peace.
Then, this morning, I woke up before my alarm and got
myself ready for the race.
Almost as suddenly as the cool morning air hit my face,
so did the conviction and the voice of the Lord reminding me to not sweat the
small stuff.
Everywhere I looked, for as far as I could
see-literally-were women gathering together, rallying around, in honor of, and
in memory of loved ones, friends, and family that were and/or are battling
breast cancer! There were women, of all ages, proudly displaying their BALD
heads, and I felt like pond scum.
Here I was, crying like a crazy person over an untimely
hair CUT, and they were fighting for their lives and not even phased by the
beautiful baldness! *hangs head*
Perspective. Loud and clear!
Jogging those 3 miles were better than good church to me!
I fought tears, and lost to a few, during my run, but my soul was revived. My
eyes were opened. And I am thankful!
Kids will be kids! Things will happen, and just because they
don’t “go our way” or “fit our schedule” doesn’t mean it’s the end of our
world. That’s the perfect time to look around and instead of focusing on what’s
going wrong-we should look around to see what’s going right!
My family is healthy and happy and I’m regretful for
spending so much time stressing about the “little stuff”! After all, is this
NOT precious?!
Although I’m honestly still mourning the hair cut deep
down, this has taught me a valuable lesson!
What
lesson(s) have your little ones taught you lately?
A Snapshot of 3 ½- My Girls are Growing Up
9/20/2012 02:52:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
I know as parents we all have these, “AWWWWWWW………I wish I could just freeze time” moments, and right now-at 3 ½, that’s exactly how I feel most days.
I never would’ve dreamed that in just 3 short years, my once tiny girls would be, well, so “grown up”!
To put in perspective of what I mean by “grown up” picture 42 inches and 36 pounds of pure sassiness! Yes, my 3 year olds are wearing size 5 in clothing and a 10 in shoes! According to some information I found on Babycenter.com, the average height for a 3 ½ year old girl is only about 38 inches. I’m guessing they’ll be tall like their daddy (who is 6’2”)-which is a fantastic thing in my book!
Anyway, seeing the “average” size makes a lot of sense to me since I hear almost daily that people can’t believe the girls are only 3 ½. For example, we went to the fair last night and I had several people astounded by the fact that they’re only 3 years old because they are so tall, well spoken, and independent. One couple actually said they would’ve guessed they were at least 5.
Some of their favorite phrases of the moment are: “I need my privacy”, “so and so isn’t paying attention”, “if you’d just realize/recognize”, “I don’t really care for _____”, “________is really freaking me out/cracking me up”…………the list could go on, but my point is that they speak like little adults and it’s pretty hilarious!
They rode tons of rides at the fair and only allowed me to help them get into and buckle up on the first one. They noticed that the older kids were doing it themselves, so when I tried to come in the gate behind them the second time I was met with a “no mom, we’re big, we can do this ourselves!” As proud as it makes me on one hand, the other is almost soul crushing! My babies are supposed to still need me right?!
I mean, they dress themselves, they can climb into their car seats and buckle themselves, they wash themselves in the shower (and dry off and get dressed), they’re writing letters and drawing real pictures………IDK, I just didn’t think this would all happen so quickly!
3 ½ is fabulous and full of attitude, but wonderful! I’m elated and saddened all at the same time at the rapid pace I’m losing my babies :/
Amazing Family Vacation in the Works
8/09/2012 10:19:00 AM Posted by mommy2twincesses
Nothing excites me more than seeing new places, especially when I get the chance to see them through my children’s eyes, so of course, I can hardly stand myself now that we’ve booked an amazing family vacation!
In exactly 149 days (yes, I’m counting already), we set sail on our first Disney Cruise on a ship named “Dream”! Our sailing vessel is so aptly named, as a Disney Cruise has been a long time dream of mine! And now that it’s becoming a reality…….well, just assume you’ve never seen an adult more excited ;)
I have become completely consumed with planning every single detail of how this will (hopefully) all play out and have decided that in case there is some other crazy lady out there like me, I’d save her some planning time, because so far I’ve just not found a plan that’s up to par! And because my level of dorkdom runs as deep as it does, I’ll share my “grand scheme” with you!
First for an overview-then details later :o)
We booked directly through Disney, though I’m waiting to hear back from a travel agent to ensure that there are no special deals available, a 4 night Bahamian cruise in early January, leaving from Port Canaveral, Florida.
Just FYI, if you book through Disney-which I would suggest you do as early as possible to ensure the room category you want, as not only do ships fill quickly, the price also rises the closer you get to sail date (what we booked went up $100 from ONE day to the next because the ship was almost full)-you have until 75 days prior to sail to pay the balance in full. And, as long as you have an outstanding balance, your trip may be transferred to a travel agent who can sometimes give special offers, discounts, and on-board credits-so it’s definitely worth at least checking into! (Psssstttt…….travel agents are free!)
After looking into what dates would work best for us and comparing the different room types, I was ready to make this happen! We decided on a Deluxe Oceanview Stateroom with Verandah, but when I called the booking specialist offered to upgrade us to a Deluxe Family Oceanview Stateroom with Verandah for less than $100 total, so I took her up on it. The “Family” option is slightly bigger and since DH and I have cruised once before and know firsthand how cramped living quarters are, I thought it sounded like a good deal. (I’ll let you know afterward if it was money well spent or not!)
We’ll stop in Nassau, Bahamas-where DH and I were married (we’ll be celebrating our 8th anniversary during the trip)-Castaway Cay, Disney’s privately owned island, and spend one “fun day” at sea. I’m STOKED!
But, we’ve agreed to keep this trip a secret until Christmas and let “Santa” bring the tickets! *wink wink* Keeping this a secret is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done! I’m dying to tell them, but at the same time, planning for this amazing surprise sure is fun!
We’re being secretive mainly because at 3 years old, our twin girls still don’t have a good grasp of time and if they knew about it, they’d be asking about it-and disappointed daily. So, we figure that the 11 days between Christmas morning and the day we leave is the perfect amount of time to spring the news and build the anticipation!
I’m FREAKING OUT and have been constantly planning and researching, so stay tuned for more on our upcoming amazing family vacation!
Preschool Fine Motor Practice Pays Off
7/29/2012 03:15:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
I've never been pushy with teaching them things, but with elementary education in my background, I've found that they learn so much through playing, so pretty much any time we're "playing", we're "learning" too. To get to this point we've done lots of coloring, drawing, letter name/recognition games, using the letters of their names in little made up songs and cheers, and of course tons of repetition and encouragement.
M isn't quite as good as K yet, but she's getting there! There is enough sibling rivalry between the two that neither one is going to be "out done" for long ;)
What kinds of things do you do with your little ones to jump start the reading/writing train?
Time Flies When You're Having Fun
7/29/2012 03:01:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
I've been so caught up in staying cool and staying sane while it's too hot to be outside that I'm so far behind I feel like I'll never catch up.
Okay, to make a long story short, this summer we've been running like crazy! From trips to the lake, weekends with grandparents, learning to swim (without formal lessons), to just having fun here at home, we have been some crazy busy girls!
We recently saw The Wizard of Oz live! K loved meeting Dorothy and I loved that the production was by a local theatre group and we snagged tickets to a matinee viewing for only $5 per person!
We've been spending lots of time swimming and the girls are little fish! They are both swimming without floaties and M is especially good at retrieving dive rings from the bottom of the pool! Here she is showing a little sass and pride in her skills ;)
I'm in awe every single day at how big they are, how much they've grown, and what pure joy they've brought to our lives! I'm sure that this wild ride we're on is just starting to pick up steam too <3
Free Activity for Kids-Homemade Bird Feeders
6/27/2012 02:27:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
The dog days of summer have just begun and we’re beginning to check things off our Summer Family Fun Plan. The intense heat have us trapped indoors the majority of the day so I’m really glad I have this crazy long list to find activities from-and even more so since most of them are free!
I found myself needing to busy the girls the other day so I could get some things done so I whipped out my list and randomly chose an activity. I didn’t want something to make a big mess and having everything I’d need was a must. After a few minutes of thought, I decided we’d make homemade bird feeders!
To make your own you’ll need:
A large plastic garbage bag
Empty toilet paper rolls
Peanut butter
Bird seed
Spoons
Plates
Hole punch
Yarn
This is basically self explanatory, but just in case I’ll walk you through what we did.
I started by gathering the supplies and then spreading the garbage bag over the table we were working at.
Next, I used the hole punch to make two holes in the end, on either side of the toilet paper rolls, to tie the yarn for hanging.
Using a spoon, I spread a thin layer of inexpensive peanut butter around the paper tube.
I then poured a small mound of bird seed on a plate and rolled the tube around in the seed until it was fully covered.
To finish off the feeder, I tied a piece of yarn to each of the previously punched holes.
After my brief demonstration, I left the girls at it to make their own bird feeders! It bought me between 30-45 minutes! YES! Score 1 for mommy!
When they finished smearing and rolling, I did the tying and out we went to hang our bird feeders in a tree! I used this opportunity to talk to them about how happy Jesus would be that we were feeding his animals because the Bible tells us that it’s our place to care for them. Their honest and pure enthusiasm made my heart sing and has led to further discussions of showing our love to animals-we even got pet Sea Monkeys to care for!
LOL, this was the best I could do since I’m so anti-pet :o)
Disciplining Children is Not a One Size Fits All Subject
6/27/2012 12:21:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
Recently on my Facebook Fan Page there was a bit of heat stemming from the “Hot Topic” of discipline. (If you’ve not found me there yet, please do @ https://www.facebook.com/#!/mommy2twincesses) I was honestly shocked at some people’s opinions of discipline.
I am fully aware that my opinions on the matter are not the popular ones, so I’m just throwing that out there on the front end.
First of all, as the title of this post states, there isn’t a magic “one size fits all” approach that is going to work for all children and all families. Like with most matters of parenting, finding the perfect fit in terms of discipline is trial and error and needs to be tweaked from time to time to remain effective.
Redirection
In our house, discipline started from the very beginning when the girls could do simple things like pull hair or pinch. They were so young that they didn’t really understand what they were doing, but that didn’t mean that we just let them hurt us or others, discipline began. We would do things such as pry their fingers away from whatever they were hurting and redirect them by giving another object to grasp, such as a blanket or toy. So, I guess you could say that the first “tool” in our “discipline belt” was redirection.
Distraction
With age comes all sorts of new abilities and therefore, new ways and things to discover. When they were mobile and were drawn to things that could potentially hurt them, such as the fireplace, we began incorporating distractions into our discipline repertoire. We would be clear and concise about what the wrong behavior was (going near the fireplace for example) and offer a distraction (come to mommy/a toy/or different room instead).
Subtraction
Still, when the girls were a bit older and clearly testing limits, we began to also incorporate the discipline of subtraction. If there was a particular item that was causing an unacceptable behavior, we would simply take that item out of the equation. For instance, after an object had been intentionally dropped for the 12th time (no, we didn’t actually set a number limit, just whenever the game got unbearable and we had given clear warning) it was put away. The same thing happens when an object is being used inappropriately (think hitting with toys or crayons in the mouth). The action is corrected a number of times, a final warning is given, and then the object is taken away, or subtracted from the equation. This is a great method that we still use almost on a daily basis and our girls are 3 years old.
Time Out
When the cords of your sanity are wearing thin and you’ve tried everything else I’ve mentioned so far, it may be time to try a good old fashioned “time out”. Time outs are tried and true, and often times very effective. Separating the child from whatever it is that is causing you stress offers several positive outcomes. First, it signals to the child that you mean business. It gives them the chance to slow down and think about what it is they’re doing, that it produces a negative reaction from their caregiver, and also allows them to calm down. Many times after just a short (1 to 2 minutes-time depending on age and of course escalating with age and/or offense) time out the child will get up and have literally forgotten about whatever it was getting them into trouble and just move on to other activities.
Time outs can occur anytime, anywhere, and simply mean removing a child from a situation and placing them in an environment more calming. I’ve found it to be effective at home to have a designated place for them to spend their time out, for us it’s in a chair by the front door if they’re quiet or in their bed if they’re crying or whining. When we’re out and about and I need to remove them from a situation we “go to the bathroom”. Often times they regroup just on the walk to the loo and then once inside I can look them in the eye and talk calmly but very firmly about whatever infraction was taking place, and our problem is solved.
Spats/Spanks
Here’s where my personal beliefs usually leave others gape mouthed. When all other methods of discipline have failed to correct a behavior that is dangerous to themselves or others I will spat/spank my children.
At very young ages (1-2 years old) I have found that a firm, yet gentle, spat on the hand will work wonders. Most parenting information outlets discourage this greatly by claiming that it teaches children violence and to hit, but I personally think that’s a bunch of hooey. As long as it’s clear to the child that they are being spatted/spanked as discipline to stop or correct a behavior I believe that its highly effective and not in the least confusing.
A perfect example of when I’ve used this form of discipline is when my children tried touching candles or other sources of fire. After being redirected, distracted, subtracted, and parked beside me (time out implemented), when they continued to reach for flames I lightly smacked the hand that was causing the infraction (and possible harm to my child). Upon receiving the spat on the hand the usual result was: the child yanking the hand away and gazing at me. I would again affirm that fire is hot and would hurt/burn them and that’s much worse than a simple spat from me. 99.9% of the time the problem was solved and the message would finally sink in.
Now that my girls are older, 3 years old, they occasionally receive spankings, or firm yet not painful spanks or swats on the bottom (although there is an “s” on the words, at this point one spank/swat is effective for us). This is always a last ditch effort to correct a behavior and is almost always reserved for possibly dangerous situations (venturing into the street, climbing furniture, etc.). They know that when they get a “spank” as we call it, that I absolutely mean that whatever was being done is over and that it’s final. It hurts their feelings much more than it does their behinds, but I’m positive my message of “no” is made clear.
After a “spank” and after the girls calm themselves, I show them affection, tell them I love them, and again reaffirm that because I love them whatever behavior got them in that situation was absolutely under no circumstances ever allowed and will result in a spank from here on out. I know things are different with different children, but my children respond to and understand the principle.
Other Methods
When I don’t feel that a spat/spank is appropriate, but all other methods of discipline have been implemented to no avail, I have to get creative. I try to tie my discipline methods as closely as possible to the infraction to keep confusion to a minimum, as well as in hopes of retaining effectiveness.
For example, we have several mottos in our family and one of my favorites is “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”. This is a miracle worker in public settings because I can remind them of this, they can repeat it with me, and if they’re still dissatisfied they simply lose whatever treat it was and will not get another. If taking something away prompts more misbehavior we move directly and swiftly to the restroom for a “time out” of sorts, or if possible (which it’s not very often) we’ll just leave immediately.
Another example (and this is the one that caused such outrage on my Facebook page) is “washing their mouth out” when they say naughty words that are not allowed. After trying everything I could possibly imagine and my daughter still dropping curse words, I finally took her into the bathroom, requested that she stick out her tongue, and I ran a bar of regular bath soap over it to “clean the dirty words out”. It was simple, she understood the concept of “cleaning out her dirty mouth”, and it hasn’t happened since. Though I was called an “abuser” for this, I do not feel guilt nor regret for using this as punishment. At 3 years old, the typical child puts far worse things in their mouths than bath soap, each and every day, and it caused her no harm-as I knew it wouldn’t. In fact, it was effective enough that I’ve heard her tell an adult that used the inappropriate word that got her into trouble that they needed their “mouth washed out” ;o) Can’t say I disagree! LOL
Conclusion
To wrap up this terribly long winded post (my apologies), discipline is not something that can be implemented in the exact same way for every child in every situation. To see what is effective, you’ll have to try some different things and use the strategies that best reach your child where he/she is.
What are your views on this subject? What methods work best for you and what age(s) are you parenting?
What are your views on this subject? What methods work best for you and what age(s) are you parenting?
Vacation Bible School-Great Start to Summer
6/16/2012 04:10:00 PM Posted by mommy2twincesses
I have such fond memories of Vacation Bible School (VBS) growing up! It was one thing that I looked forward to each and every summer and was considered a rite of passage because only the “big kids” got to stay. I can’t believe that just a week ago my precious 3 year old identical twin girls got to go to their first VBS! *tear*
The local Baptist church came around a couple of weeks ago passing out flyers for their upcoming VBS but the allowed grades read Pre-K through 6th grade. I totally dismissed it because they aren’t even close to Pre-K yet, but because we’re such a small community a member of the church told me specifically that the girls were more than welcome to come.
I thought about it and talked about it with the girls and they were super excited and could hardly wait to go!
When the first night rolled around I got them dressed and out we went. They met their teacher and stood in line with their class, but were super shy and didn’t want me to leave right away. I agreed to go in with them and by the time the music started and they warmed up to their new friends they didn’t even notice me sneak out.
The rest of the week was as smooth as butter! I am still in absolute amazement at how well they did, all by themselves! *gasp and gulp* My babies are growing up way too fast!
The highlights of their time in VBS was K finding the “Golden Pinecone” and therefore getting to wear a Ranger hat around all night and be called “Ranger K”, both of them getting suckers for knowing their memory verse (this was only a few children from each class per night), and M winning an overall prize for “Best Behaved”!
The theme song of the week says it all, “It’s gonna be a cool, cool summer!” and what a better way to start it than “learning to trust in Jesus”?!
Do your children attend VBS? If not, I really encourage you to give it a try! It’s fun, it’s free, and most importantly of all, it introduces them to Christ!
The Twincesses Turn 3
2/04/2012 07:21:00 AM Posted by mommy2twincesses
I am still in shock, so bear with me as I process the news that my baby girls are actually 3 years old now! I don’t know what happened. Where did the time go? It really seems like just a few months ago that we were bringing their tiny selves home from the hospital and here they are, looking at me with very grown up 3 year old big brown eyes.
We celebrated the day of their birthday by taking them to Memphis to see their Nana and Granddaddy at the hospital and then to Incredible Pizza.
When we got to the hospital they got presents and cupcakes. They were over the moon with the new princess costumes and night gowns they got and licked the cupcakes completely clean of their icing.
When we got to Incredible Pizza they were too excited to do much eating, they just wanted to hit the games and slide. We played for hours and had a great time!
When we were almost back to town my aunt called so we stopped there so they could wish the girls a happy birthday. There were more cupcakes and presents and then we finally made it home.
For supper we were all pleasantly surprised by 3 cousins coming to visit for their special day!
Between the calls, visits, and well wishes on Facebook, we were just overwhelmed with love! The girls’ third birthday was a truly wonderful day <3
Tonight is their birthday party/dinner so we’re really looking forward to that and I can’t wait to post pictures of all the adorable Wizard of Oz themed decorations!
Just to give you a good picture of what it’s like having 3 year olds-some of the things that they’re doing are:
*recognizing the letters of the alphabet
*recognizing their name and spelling it aloud
*dressing themselves, including choosing their own clothes
*putting their dirty clothes in the hamper
*putting their dirty dishes in the sink
*putting their toys away, though I have to firmly direct when they’ve created a complete disaster
*pottying all alone
This list could go on and on! I just can’t believe how grown up 3 years old can be!
They are all into dress up, role play, make believe, and playing “school”. They’re almost always someone else, this morning they were actually both boys that we saw last night at a friend’s twins’ birthday party ;) They have switched from wanting to sleep in pants/shirts pajamas to all gowns, and they are often adorned on top with a princess dress. They have to do EVERYTHING for themselves, right down to wanting to spread the butter and jelly on their toast. Their favorite movies are The Wizard of Oz, Annie, and any of the Disney princess movies. They sing along with most any music we hear and pick up lyrics really quickly. Overall, they’re just a joy to be around and I’m amazed daily at how fast they are turning into little ladies <3
